[GRE]Writing Argue _ SA sample 001

[ The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products. "Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should there fore build our new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsvill's school-children are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age". 

  The author claims that opening a new store selling health food and other health-related products in Plainsville will be profitable because residents in the area are concerned with living healthy. To support this claim, he cites success in sports gears and health club business in Plainsville. Based on this evidence, the author concludes that residents in Plainsville will purchase more health food and health related products than those in other areas. And he also asserts that as schools in Plainsville offer a program that requires school-children to participate in regularly, he has obtained prospective customers. This argument depends on several unsubstantiated assumptions and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands. 

  First of all, the authors's conclusion about people's willingness to purchase health food and health-related products depends on the assumption that those who concerned with health buy exercise gears. However, the success in sales of running shoes and exercise clothing does not fully support the residents' interest in exercising. It is entirely possible that those exercise products have recently become very popular due to some publicity efforts or there may be an ongoing sports events where sports players or visitors need to buy those products. Therefore, in order to support the above assumption, the vice president of Nature's Way should provide the evidence that the customers at the sports gears store are also the residents of Plainsville, and that the sales of sports gear was not caused by ephemeral fashion craze or event. 

  Second, the author assumes that residents in Plainsville are highly concerned with leading healthy lives based on that the local health club has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. Most people go to gyms for exercise; however, others may go to health clubs for other purposes: some people may consider health clubs as a place to meet and socialize with new people. Likewise, as for the number of members of weight training and aerobics classes, it is not statistically reliable without giving the actual number. In order to satisfy these claims, the author must show that members at the local health club are willing solely to do exercise that the classes are big enough to represent the success of the business in the local health club. Otherwise, the author cannot confidently raw a general conclusion that the success of health club business will guarantee that of the health food store. 

  Additionally, the vice president of Nature's Way provides no evidence for the claim that school-children in Plainsville are prospective customers just because they are required to take part in a school health program. School-children cannot afford to purchase such health related products at the moment and is therefore hard to conclude how long it will take for them to obtain purchasing power. At least for now, it is more adequate to consider their parents' willingness to buy health related products. Also, as school-children are much healthier and have less health problems, they may not be as concerned about eating healthy as adults an therefore, the required school program may be sufficient for them to stay fit. In order to substantiate his claim, the author should look into how much money each household is willing to spend on health food or health related products for their childre. 

  To summarize, the author's assumption that opening a store health food and other health-related products in Plainsville is logically flawed based on the above mentioned reasons. To strengthen his argument, the author should closely examine all the conditions and possible factors that reflect the willingness and purchase power of the residents in Plainsville.